I doubt anyone would be surprised if I said I haven't yet experienced that reassuring sensation that says: Oh, yup, this is Home. The northeast coast, where I've spent most of my life, no longer rivals the familiarity of the quasi-home I had cobbled together after living six months in Sydney or Perth. It's not like I came back expecting otherwise, but there is a strangeness to feeling unsettled in a landscape that superficially hasn't changed much in two years. I guess I've also realized how I've changed in my time abroad, and when those moments of self-awareness dawn on me, I smile. (Probably stupidly, just like Wallace).
In the past two years, my parents have moved from New Hampshire (the state I grew up in) to West Virginia (a state I'd never even driven through til a month ago); the lovely girlfriend I abandoned after a half a decade of dating is on skeptically friendly terms with me (rightly so) and was kind enough to allow me a brief visitation with my "ex-dog"; some of my best friends have relocated to different parts of the world/country, gotten married, or had kids, if not a combination of the three; and I've returned without a single clear purpose or aspiration to precipitate some semblance of direction to life. It's the last one that probably causes me the most anxiety, but that will change with time.
The last month I've spend my time re-connecting all across the United States and it has been amazing, if not too brief. It still surprises me at how thin those connections with my old friends have gotten in two years away. But so far, if as by magic, I meet an old friend, we embrace, quickly dispense with formalities, and it's like I never left. It's reassuring to know that it can be that easy when both people want the same thing. And as much as I love all my friends, I probably would have stayed longer in Australia if I didn't have a longing to see my family. Not having a Home isn't too bad when you've got an amazing Family to return to.
For me, this travel blog ended here, when I departed from Asia, in the sense of why I started this blog and more importantly, why I left to travel in the first place. Over the last year, I've done my best to occasionally write interesting stories from Australia as a way to share my life with family and those friends that consistently put in that effort in to stay in touch. Hopefully you know who you are. I do. On those most trying of days, it's those people and those relationships that helped move me forward. (There's a part of me that feels that the latter half of this blog was boring and long-winded. On reflection, I wish I had burnt-out instead of faded away. Well, there is always the next adventure to blog about).
As for being back in the States, I realize that things will always feel unfamiliar as long as I don't grow those roots, find a routine (a job?!), and make regular friends to make things more interesting. A part of me -- the one that likes to travel -- is apprehensive about doing just that. But without that, life feels shallow. And there is a part of me that wants to be surprised to one day look around at my life and say, "I don't want to go anywhere far, anytime soon". Time will tell.
And finally, I know there are a great many people I will meet in places I’m going to visit in future adventures, and that makes me happy. It seems like the world is teeming with special people, and when you look at the world that way, it doesn't seem that difficult, with enough time and effort, to call any place Home. Thanks for reading. Safe and happy adventures.
In the past two years, my parents have moved from New Hampshire (the state I grew up in) to West Virginia (a state I'd never even driven through til a month ago); the lovely girlfriend I abandoned after a half a decade of dating is on skeptically friendly terms with me (rightly so) and was kind enough to allow me a brief visitation with my "ex-dog"; some of my best friends have relocated to different parts of the world/country, gotten married, or had kids, if not a combination of the three; and I've returned without a single clear purpose or aspiration to precipitate some semblance of direction to life. It's the last one that probably causes me the most anxiety, but that will change with time.
The last month I've spend my time re-connecting all across the United States and it has been amazing, if not too brief. It still surprises me at how thin those connections with my old friends have gotten in two years away. But so far, if as by magic, I meet an old friend, we embrace, quickly dispense with formalities, and it's like I never left. It's reassuring to know that it can be that easy when both people want the same thing. And as much as I love all my friends, I probably would have stayed longer in Australia if I didn't have a longing to see my family. Not having a Home isn't too bad when you've got an amazing Family to return to.
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| Three generations posing for the camera after our 30 - 60 - 90 birthday celebration (for me, my Mom, and Grandfather, respectively). The Pythagorean Triangle Birthday! |
For me, this travel blog ended here, when I departed from Asia, in the sense of why I started this blog and more importantly, why I left to travel in the first place. Over the last year, I've done my best to occasionally write interesting stories from Australia as a way to share my life with family and those friends that consistently put in that effort in to stay in touch. Hopefully you know who you are. I do. On those most trying of days, it's those people and those relationships that helped move me forward. (There's a part of me that feels that the latter half of this blog was boring and long-winded. On reflection, I wish I had burnt-out instead of faded away. Well, there is always the next adventure to blog about).
As for being back in the States, I realize that things will always feel unfamiliar as long as I don't grow those roots, find a routine (a job?!), and make regular friends to make things more interesting. A part of me -- the one that likes to travel -- is apprehensive about doing just that. But without that, life feels shallow. And there is a part of me that wants to be surprised to one day look around at my life and say, "I don't want to go anywhere far, anytime soon". Time will tell.
And finally, I know there are a great many people I will meet in places I’m going to visit in future adventures, and that makes me happy. It seems like the world is teeming with special people, and when you look at the world that way, it doesn't seem that difficult, with enough time and effort, to call any place Home. Thanks for reading. Safe and happy adventures.
